rubbing the rabbits

Come and look at the beautiful grey bunny, this big fat dopey one here, that’s right, this one, this bunny rabbit, all fluffy and cuddly and sleepy and waiting for you, you cute little kiddy, yes you right there behind the white fence, that’s right, the plastic one that your dad still thinks is wooden but is about to realise to his holiday horror is in fact plastic, waiting for you to come and stroke her all the way from her twitching pink and grey dappled nose and her irresistible white whiskers to her fluffy tail poking out between her hairy back legs and huge feet with the cutest tufts of hair poking out between her adorable toes. Come on, kiddies, come right up, right here, nice and close, like this little girl is here, that’s right, this one with the blue plastic apron on with the white print announcing to all of us that she is our ASSISTANT! Don’t you worry about those dried tear marks on her cheeks, that was hours ago when she panicked a teeny bit about the giant praying mantis crawling up her arm except it’s not a praying mantis you know kids, it’s something much nastier than that which is why it looks like a piece of bark with claws climbing up her arm slowly slowly but surely towards the side of her neck and, phew, she was trying to let STAFF know but they were so busy spraying down those other kids, LOL LOL that’s what I said kids, with Hygienic Hand Rub that we didn’t notice, no it’s true that we didn’t notice but you must wash down with Hygienic Hand Rub kiddies, after touching the animals especially little Flopsy here because we don’t know what cutsie fluffsie bunny rabbits like this one might do to you, which is why we’ve erected large banners on each of the four sides of the plastic farmer’s fence with the words RUB DOWN USING HYGIENIC HAND RUB AFTER RUBBING THE RABBITS so that no one — no one kiddies not even dadz and mumz — will run home (or hop back to their holes we say at the farm!) with any bunny bugzy wugzeez and it’s why all of our staff have in one hand a cute fluffy big fat dopey bunny and in the other, a bit like the security guard you saw when you came in through the glass doors beside BHS, yes?, a bit like he is holding his gun, yes I’m sure you saw that you cheeky kiddies, just like I know you all want to get your sticky little fingers covered in our hygienic hand rub. I know I know I know I know bunnies and hand rub or hand rub or bunnies or fluffy cutesies or hygienic liquid or fluffy bunny just like on a farm or hygienic liquid or fluffy bunny (a bit like) on a farm or hygienic hand rub or bunny or hand rub or rabbit or hand rub or hand rabbit or run or rabbit or rub or rabbit or rub or rabbit