as a matter of

you told me you know that charisma is a favour from God and Africa has a personality and Europe has an identity and Asia has a heart and the MPLA is socialist and Maria Miller is a witch and the Grand National isn’t cruel any more and you’re only as young as you feel and Walthamstow is 80% muslim and Halliburton provides employment and Afghans are voting and the ICRC has never been involved in transporting weapons in war-torn countries and war-torn does have real meaning and you have to be stupid to be a decent jockey and attractive women make crap journalists and coconut oil is bad for your skin and carpets reduce asthma and most NGOs in their own back yards don’t behave democratically at all and all children like candy floss and women who return to work after having a baby suffer appalling discrimination and diesel is good for you and Wolfie keeps the best onions for his favourite customers and marriage is progressive and an act of faith in God and people with personalities never get hitched because it robs them of their identity and breaks their heart which is why they are socialists and witches and cruel and elderly and non-believers and dependent on the state and politically apathetic and fake pacifists and meaningless and stupid because they hate hunting and don’t read the papers and have dry legs and varnished floor boards and never give to charity and refuse to have kids and because they eat junk food and don’t want to work anyway and

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