Have a guess: what is G4S?

Leading international security solutions, that’s who we are.  We even have a heritage that goes back over a century. We protect rock stars, ooh-ah, and sports stars, ooh-ah, and people and property and even some of the world’s most important buildings, ooh-ah. Some of the people we protect are protected differently to other people. Sometimes, although we aim to ensure that travellers and other nice people have a safe and pleasant travel experience, we also promise to leave them haunted and even traumatised for years to come, ooh-ah. Certainly it is true, that in more ways than you realise, G4S – what a bloody mess – is securing your world. But not necessarily their world. What matters to us is that you feel safe from them. This all part of our strong culture and distinct set of values. So as you see, we like to generate trust, to work in partnership, expertise and, yes! you guessed it, solutions. Our performance is improving year-on-year. So next year, we are hoping that two or perhaps three people will cease to breathe whilst in our care. The year after, maybe three or four. What matters is that we employ the best people, the experts, people who have developed their competence and who know that being paid per deportation really does make them do the job to the best of their ability. We inspire our staff with our values. We collaborate so we all work together as a team. And we love changing our name, again and again, so no one ever quite knows who we are.

Meanwhile, here I am on Jimmy Mubenga in The Guardian.