Sixty-five, he said, including transport.

But how do I know you’ll bring it back?

Because any decent businessman knows that the quickest way to lose business is to steal from the client. Anyway, I’ve got a website. Have a look at it. Door stripping dot com. I’m not gonna nick it. And I’ll tell you what, you can have a look in the van, cos I’ve got lots of doors in there, stripped doors, so you’ll know I am what I say I am.

He opens the doors of the large white van. Seven pine doors, stripped as he said, are stacked up in the back.

See! I’m not gonna nick it. Now then, how much did we agree? Sixty-five. There you go, a fiver. I’ll bring it back next week. Shall I stick it there, behind the hedge?


Have you got a back door into the side, through that side gate?

It’s locked. You’ll have to call me.

Alright. I’ll call. You’ll see. I’ll be back, with the van, and the shelves, all nice and stripped.

So, why did you come down here anyway? You sound like a Barnsley man to me.

Not far. Doncaster. Why d’you think? They said the streets were paved with gold. Been here twenty years now and still, no gold. Still no gold. What did you think of the website anyway? Any good?